Sexological counselling
One-to-one, talk-based sessions about sex, desire and relationships. For queer people, and for anyone who wants clear information and room to think without being judged.
[€00], deducted from your sessions if you continue
What happens in a session
We talk. You describe what's going on, I ask about what actually happens, and I explain how desire, arousal and relationships tend to work. Over a few sessions we work out what you want and what gets in the way, and you leave with something concrete to think about or try.
What it doesn't include
Nothing physical, and no examinations. Counselling doesn't diagnose or treat sexual dysfunctions. When that's what you need, I'll refer you to a doctor, psychologist or sexologist, and we can keep talking alongside if that helps.
Topics people bring
Nothing on this list is unusual. Most of it simply rarely gets talked about.
Desire and orientation
Low, high or mismatched desire. Desire that only shows up in certain situations. Asexuality, demisexuality and the rest of the ace spectrum. Questions about who you're attracted to.
Gender
Sex and dating during or after transition. Feeling at home in your body during intimacy, or not. Telling a partner what you need.
Kink and practices
BDSM and fetishes, whether you're curious, enjoying it or worried about it. Talking about consent and limits. Porn, cybersex or hookups that feel out of hand.
Relationships
Open or monogamous, and how to decide. Jealousy. Talking about sex with a partner without it turning into a fight. Fertility and parenthood paths for queer people.
Bodies and health
HIV, PrEP, STI worries, HPV and contraception. Sex with a disability or a chronic illness. Changes after medication, illness or menopause.
Shame and history
What you learned about sex from religion, family or school. Homophobic bullying and what it left behind. First experiences you still think about.
If you've experienced sexual violence, I can help you find specialised support and talk about how it affects you now. Treating trauma itself is work for a trained therapist.
How it works
A 30-minute intro call
Online, [€00], deducted if you continue. You tell me roughly what's going on; I tell you whether I'm the right person.
Choose a format
Five or ten sessions, or a single session for one specific question. The prices are the same as for all counselling, and reduced rates are available.
The sessions
Fifty minutes, in Utrecht or online, in English or Italian, usually every one or two weeks.
What you take with you
A clearer picture of what's going on and concrete next steps, including a referral if something needs medical attention.
Where counselling stops
Sexological counselling is talk-based. It doesn't diagnose or treat medical or psychological conditions, and I'm not a psychologist or a doctor. Some things need both, side by side.
With me
- Talking it through
- Information about sex, bodies and relationships
- Preparing a difficult conversation
- Working on shame and expectations
- Getting clear on what you actually want
Both, in parallel
- Pain during sex
- Changes in erection or arousal
- Desire that changed after medication or illness
A doctor or psychologist
- Diagnosis and medical treatment
- Medication
- Trauma therapy
- In a crisis: your huisarts, or 113 (free, day and night)
My training
I'm completing modules A and B of the Master in Clinical Sexology at Giunti Psicologia.io, which lead to the qualification of counsellor in typical and atypical sexuality (consulente in sessualità tipica e atipica). That covers counselling and education about sexuality.
Treating sexual dysfunctions is part of a further module reserved for psychologists and doctors. For that, I refer on.
Before you book
Do I need to be queer to book?
No. The practice is queer-affirming, which means queer people never have to explain themselves here. Anyone who wants to talk about sex and relationships can book.
Can I come with my partner?
At the moment I work one to one. You can talk about your relationship in your own sessions, and if you want to come as a couple I can suggest colleagues who specialise in that.
Will I have to talk about things I'm not ready for?
No. You decide what we talk about and how fast. It's fine to start with the easier version of the question.
Is it confidential?
Yes, within the legal limits set out in the agreement you receive before the first session. I keep notes to a minimum and store them securely.
Is it covered by health insurance?
Usually not. Some supplementary policies reimburse a few counselling sessions, so it's worth checking yours.
Start with half an hour.
Thirty minutes online, [€00], deducted from your sessions if you continue. Tell me roughly what's going on and I'll tell you whether I'm the right person for it.
Book an intro call